Thanksgiving is upon us, which means an early and expanded slate of NFL matchups. Three different games, including two divisional showdowns and one prime-time clash with playoff implications, are on tap for Turkey Day, ensuring you can also stuff yourselves with gridiron action.
In the spirit of the season, we’ve identified one thing each of the NFL’s 32 teams can be thankful for this season. But if you’ve already devoured that and need some additional material while you whip the potatoes, we’ve gone even further: comparing notable teams to popular Thanksgiving foods.
Love the comparisons? Despise them? Either way, we wish you and your family a happy holiday.
The main dish, they’re simply always around. Some people get bored of them, but there’s no real denying their influence, even if, this year, they make you a little sleepier than usual. Week after week, year after year, they reheat as contenders, looking the rest of the AFC West in the eyes and thinking: “Gravy.”
Mashed potatoes: Lions
A staple of Thanksgiving, never to be missed on the actual holiday, they used to be beaten and battered, whipped up by superior NFC foes. They’ve come out buttery smooth on the other side, boasting one of the tastiest offenses in all of the league, led by a coach who could be anyone’s fiery uncle at the holiday table.
A heavy mashup of both homemade and acquired ingredients, they’re one of the most filling concoctions when properly prepared. Yes, they’ve dried out before, but they aren’t just pomp and circumstance, either; their calling card is the work they do in the trenches, stuffing opponents with their blocking up front.
Green bean casserole: Packers
A blend of both greens and yellows, they also meld past traditions, like a homegrown quarterback, with newer endeavors, like a souped-up run game. Healthy at the core with one of the game’s finest coaches, they also aren’t afraid to take chances through the air thanks to their signal-caller’s crisp arm.
Cranberry sauce: Ravens
They’ve got an explosive sweetness with a quarterback who could’ve come straight from the factory, assembled for jelly-like fluidity. They can pack a real punch. There’s a fair amount of debate, however, about whether they can carry their weight as a top dish rather than, say, a regular-season relish.
On the surface, they couldn’t be more appealing, glistening with sugary talent, promising something special. Dig deeper, though, and they aren’t so beloved, bordering on tasteless mush. They’ll always draw eyes, that’s for sure, but at the end of the day, when it’s time to feast, they tend to fall by the wayside.
Colored an intriguing orange, they’re a true delight when assembled properly, bringing down the house with a silky big-play flair. The only problem: They often don’t show up until late in the day, after so many others have already delivered. Sometimes there’s just not enough room or time to enjoy their potential.
They may move like molasses, literally and philosophically, preferring an old-school approach. Yet they refuse to exit the table, always hanging around with a coarse, crunchy sort of physicality. Their style isn’t for everyone, and it may not get them a trophy these days, but boy are they a tough and hearty bunch.
