If you’re like me, right after Thanksgiving dinner when the turkey coma and adult beverages combine to create a Walter White fugue state, the first bright idea you have is to pull out your phone and start looking through Black Friday deals. Needless to say, the results of that endeavor have been mixed.
Some deals are winners (digital picture frame!) and some are, well, not winners (whatever the hell this thing is). The point is, you can’t have one without the other. If you didn’t get a horrible deal on something you didn’t even want in the first place, you wouldn’t feel as great about scoring a major discount on something you actually love.
The same is true in the NBA, where every joyous moment from Victor Wembanyama or Giannis Antetokounmpo is contrasted with a winless month by the Wizards or a game that takes 20 minutes to play the final 30 seconds. Yin and yang. Strikes and gutters.
This weekend was certainly no different, which you’ll see as we browse through a few NBA winners and losers.
Winner: Wembanyamania
LeBron James. Luka Doncic. Victor Wembanyama. Those are the only three NBA players below the age of 21 to post a 34-point triple-double. The Spurs big man joined the exclusive club on Sunday night by putting up 34 points, 13 rebounds and a career-high 11 assists in a 127-125 win over the Sacramento Kings. He went 11 for 17 from the floor, 5 for 9 from 3-point range and 7 for 9 from the free-throw line while adding three blocks and a steal. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: The dude is just ridiculous. How many 7-5 centers do you see popping for 3s as the recipient of a dribble hand-off?
The best part is, this isn’t even the most absurd triple-double of Wemby’s career. In February, he became the third player in the last 40 years to put up at least 25 points, 10 rebounds, 10 blocks and five assists in a game. We’d say the sky is the limit for this kid, but — both literally and metaphorically — that might not even be true.
Loser: NBA endings
Most of the time it doesn’t matter, but every once in a while we get a glaring reminder of how imbecilic the ending of NBA games can be. In one of the marquee matchups of the early season, the Cavaliers came back to beat the Celtics on Sunday thanks to a ridiculous fourth-quarter flurry from Donovan Mitchell. Unfortunately nobody could remember his exploits because the fourth quarter ended with SEVENTEEN free throw attempts in the final 34 seconds, including 13 in the last 15 seconds of the game.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Evan Mobley‘s dunk off a deft pass from Isaac Okoro put the Cavs up by four with 34 seconds left — the nail in the coffin for the Celtics. But that play was followed by 20 more minutes of real time before the game actually ended, thanks to a parade to the free-throw line for both teams.
The problem, of course, stems from teams being able to foul when they’re up by three points, denying the opposition the ability to even attempt a game-tying 3-pointer. And so they went back and forth — the Cavs make two free throws to go up by three and foul the Celtics intentionally before the Celtics make two free throws to come within one and foul the Cavs intentionally — until Boston had so few seconds remaining that they were forced to miss a free throw on purpose. Payton Pritchard nearly flawlessly executed the incredibly difficult task, but was called for a lane violation.
Because of all this nonsense, the thrill of a fantastic finish between two of the league’s best teams was replaced with boredom, anger and frustration.
There are lots of potential solutions to this issue, not all of which are as radical as the Elam Ending we saw implemented in the All-Star game for a couple of years. There’s just no way an NBA game should end with a free-throw contest, particularly when the team that’s being fouled is actually the one that’s being penalized. The league probably won’t change a thing, but endings like this are comical and really damage the product.
Winner: The Giannis-Dame duo
When you’re a two-time MVP and an NBA champ, it’s hard to accomplish anything for the first time. So when Giannis Antetokounmpo does something he’s never done before, we certainly take notice. With 42 points, 12 rebounds and 11 assists in Saturday’s win over the Wizards (more on them later), Giannis notched the first 40-point triple-double of his career. Overall, it was a memorable night for Giannis, who is putting up MVP numbers while leading the Bucks to six straight wins.
As if that weren’t enough, Antetokounmpo and Damian Lillard became the only duo in NBA history to each put up at least 25 points and 10 assists in the same game three times. It seems like that can’t be right, but who are we to question the NBA record keepers. This is pretty incredible considering how much criticism the pair has faced since joining forces before last season.
Loser: Gravity
Ever since that apple dropped from its tree and struck Isaac Newton on top of the head, we’ve understood that what goes up must come down (ever wonder why nobody else figured this out during the first 2.4 million years of human existence?). Charlotte Hornets wing Josh Green probably assumed that standard gravitational rules applied when he launched a corner 3-pointer as his team trailed by four with three seconds left in the fourth quarter of Friday’s NBA Cup matchup.
Ever the obdurate pest, centrifugal force was like, “Hey gravity, watch this …”
The degree of rotation coupled with the angle of contact with the rim made the basketball spin … and spin … and spin around the rim so many times that all three seconds elapsed before the ball fell through the net. Game over.
Of course it’s not likely, even if the ball had gone in with a second or so left on the clock, that the Hornets would have come back to win. But you hate to see a team thwarted not by the opponent, but instead by a basketball that stubbornly refused to succumb to the law of gravity.
Winner: Literally anyone who plays the Wizards
It’s really hard to go a whole calendar month without winning a game — only 16 teams have done it in NBA history — but the Washington Wizards have managed to do it twice in nine months. Saturday’s loss to the Bucks concluded a winless November for the Wiz at 0-14. They also went 0-12 this past February en route to a 15-67 finish.
Getty Images
During this 14-game losing streak, the Wizards have averaged a league-worst 102.5 points per 100 possessions while allowing 119.4, for a depressing net rating of minus-16.9. Things don’t get any better from here with their next games coming against the Cavs, Mavericks, Nuggets and Grizzlies.
Loser: 2-point field goal attempts
A lot has been made about the proliferation of 3-pointers in the modern NBA — teams are taking 37.5 3s per game this season, the highest average of all-time and an increase of nearly 2.5 per game from last year. The highfalutin analytics nerds keep insisting that “three is more than two” (we’ll check that math later), so even contested 3s have become “better” shots than basically any 2-point attempt besides a layup or dunk.
It makes for some high-scoring games, but also some hideous basketball when shots aren’t going in. Case in point, this sequence from Tuesday’s Lakers-Suns NBA Cup matchup in which the teams took turns hoisting up bricks from behind the 3-point line. The cringey video of the atrocious start to the fourth quarter made the NBA social media rounds on Sunday. Watch the entire two-minute sequence, if you’re the type who enjoys Instagram reels of people trying to eat ghost peppers or entire boxes of Saltines.
As you can see, 10 of the 11 shots came from 3-point range, with D’Angelo Russell the lone brave Vasco da Gama-esque explorer to venture into the uncharted territory of the paint — and he missed, of course. Combined, the teams bricked nine straight 3s in a two-and-a-half minute stretch. Here’s what the forgettable play-by-play looked like:
- Beal 25 ft 3PT pullup jump shot
- MISS Russell 26 ft 3PT jump shot
- MISS James 29 ft 3PT jump shot
- MISS Allen 27 ft 3PT running pull-up jump shot
- MISS James 29 ft running pull-up jump shot
- MISS Beal 26 ft 3PT pullup jump shot
- MISS Russell 9 ft floating jump shot
- MISS Beal 25 ft 3PT jump shot
- MISS Vincent 24 ft 3PT jump shot
- Beal out of bounds lost ball turnover
- MISS Knecht 25 ft 3PT jump shot
- MISS Russell 26 ft 3PT jump shot
Yikes.
When people complain about the NBA, this is usually what they mean. But then again, if these shots had all gone in we’d be talking about the tremendous skill and versatility of modern players. In any case, this was one of the worst 3-point shooting exhibitions you’ll see in such a short period of time.
Winner: Canadian etiquette
Never afraid to be the villain, Dillon Brooks has gotten into his fair share of altercations over his eight-year NBA career. It appeared he was ready to engage in another one during Sunday’s matchup with the Oklahoma City Thunder as he attempted to ferociously rip the ball out of his opponent’s hands. When the opponent refused to relent, the tussle spilled over toward the Rockets sideline as teammates rushed in anticipating a possible escalation.
The crisis was averted, however, when Brooks saw that the player he was wrestling with was none other than Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, a fellow member of the Canadian national team. Now, if you need to know one thing about Canadians, it’s that they’re unfathomably polite — sometimes to their detriment. When Brooks and SGA looked into each other’s eyes, they couldn’t help but bust out huge grins and laughter as cooler heads prevailed.
Luckily they were fighting over a basketball, because if it were a bottle of pure maple syrup things could have gotten ugly.
